Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches and other valuables.
In the midst of the chaos, the first accountant jams something into the second accountant’s hand. Without looking down, the second accountant whispers, "What’s this?"
To which the first accountant replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."
A surgeon, an accountant and a lawyer were arguing about which of them was practicing the oldest profession. The surgeon said, “God created Eve from Adam’s rib. Obviously, God is a surgeon, so medicine is the oldest profession.”
The accountant protested, “Before God created Eve from Adam’s rib, he created an orderly universe from chaos. That clearly shows that God was an accountant before he was a surgeon. Accounting, then has to be the oldest profession.”
“All that may be true,” the lawyer said with a smile, “but who created the chaos?”
Truth in advertising
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.”
And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.